An Empty Crate

Many times I have taken our pets to the vet, and driven there and driven home with Alex or Jasmine in tow.  Today, we drove home without her, never to come home again.  It is a sad day in our family, losing Jasmine.  She has always been healthy until a few months back when something started going wrong, she dropped weight and the condition progressed, we had numerous vet visits, trying to find the problem, but nothing worked.  The overall prognosis, CRF – Chronic Renal Failure and/or cancer was terminal.  This morning, after administering Jasmine’s treatment routine, which consisted of several medications and intravenous injection, she was unable to keep her medication down.  She has not eaten in several days, and was not looking good.  We found ourselves at a crossroads, and chose the path of mercy.  She does not have to fight anymore.

There is a sense of relief when a great fight is over, but the sense of loss can be overbearing.  I’ve learned over the past 2 years that grieving for an animal is vastly different than for another person.  In many ways, it is much, much harder.  I saw Jasmine basically every day for the past 8 years.  I haven’t seen anyone as much besides my wife.  Jasmine was the epitome of perfect human traits, unending love and loyalty.  She never backstabbed or did anything to upset us.  She was one of my best friends.  Since Alex passed, she became my buddy and would follow me wherever I went in the house.  She would sleep right next to me in bed every single night and purr the whole time.  I always complain that our full size bed is too small.  Tonight, it is going to feel too big.  The house is now utterly silent and it’s just us human beings that live here now.

Looking at the big picture, it is amazing what Jaime and I have been through over the past year.  First, Alex, than my Grandmother, than the flooded basement, then Jaime’s Father, and now Jasmine.  It is easy to dwell on these things.  But there is also a flip side that gives me hope – it has not been all bad.  Jaime’s sister just had a healthy, beautiful baby girl.  My friends Sarah and Dean had a baby.  My friends Tom and Kay were married.  My friends Mike and Sherri had a baby.  My friends Chris and Laurel were married.  I became like brothers with Dave, I also came closer to my real brothers.  My brother Josh has been blazingly successful in Colorado, my Brother Adam was promoted, my Parents’ marriage is stronger than ever.  I drove up and down the east coast in my VW and came home with a truckload of trophies and great memories.  I climbed mountains, I learned, I loved.  I had a great time with my wife.  I ate a ton of great food.  I got a great new job.  Life has been grand…most of the time.

It’s amazing, putting things into perspective how much the good outweighs the bad.  It’s so easy to dwell on the bad, but so much good is also happening all around me.  I have God to thank for this.  The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, but it all happens through his love and his desire to help us grow and mature.  I know that through everything that has happened, all of the challenges, and joys, that God has been there with me.  It is truly amazing to think that God loves me so much.  I have so much to look forward to in this life, but even better, when my time has come, I will get to go and be with Him.  When I go to heaven, there will be no more sorrow, or fear, or pain, or desire.  All of my needs will be fulfilled through God’s love and everything that was ever wrong in my life will be made right.  This thought keeps me going and striving to be all that I can be.  My time here will be brief and many things will happen, both good and bad, but when it is over, there is nothing but LOVE to look forward to.

Below are some photos of Jasmine through the years. Not in any particular order.